Setting Personal Boundaries

It is necessary to set boundaries in not only professional life, but also in my personal life. I find it very important to set my family and myself before all others. It was hard to get to this point though. For a long time, I felt I had to be the fixer and the doer for all the people who are important to me and in my life. But in doing this I set myself really far back and was often stressed out, mentally exhausted, exhausted of all of my resources and found myself having nothing left to give. At some point I decided that I needed to focus on me and my immediate family first and then if I had anything else to give, then I could do so. And if I didn’t have anything else to give for a while, that was ok too. I have learned that my giving tank is fluctuating on a regular basis and there is not a set amount of myself that I can give to others each day. I have to wake up in the morning, have my coffee and then determine how much I am able to give that day. And in the afternoon, it might change. I need to keep checking in with myself to see where I am at and how I am vibing. 

An important part about setting my boundaries is making sure that the people around me are aware of my boundaries. If I am telling someone ‘no’ then I should be able to confidently be able to explain to them that I am not able to do what they are asking of me at this time because I need to take that time to focus on something that I feel is more important or pressing at the moment. I should not feel shame for telling someone that I cannot do something or that I can not do it now, but can at a later time. Learning how to put myself and my needs first took a long time, and a lot of energy, but I have been able to vouch for myself and my needs. 

Since I have learned to say no and put myself first more often, I have been able to have more energy to put towards myself, my immediate family and our overall wellbeing. No more sacrificing our time and energy for things that wont positively impact my household as whole. No more draining my energy and brain power to help people who don’t truly want my help, won't follow through with any of my help and people who won't positively impact me and/or my family in any way.